EAGLES GO DOWN!!

ONE Team!!
ONE City!!
ONE Dream!!

For two weeks I had to put up with these wacko Eagles fans that bought into the fact that the Eagles were going to win the Super Bowl. For two weeks I had to hear people break into that fucking E-A-G-L-E-S chant for no fucking reason. For two weeks I had to hear those stupid Eagles songs on the radio. As we got closer to the Super Bowl more and more people starting to buy into this whole SUPER BOWL THING!! More and more people were wearing the Jerseys or those fucking black ONE shirts.
I didn't buy into any of this shit. Why? Cause they NEVER had a chance!!!
What happened next? Well my boy Mike Eliason put it best. "The Eagles are like being with a hot chick. You are hanging out and she starts rubbing you crotch through your pants while you are making out. Things are getting really crazy and just when you think you are going to get some she stops laughs in your face and walks out the door."
When the clock hit 00:00 on that game if you listened closely you could hear the sound of millions of hearts breaking through out the area. You saw pictures of grown men crying in Philly.

My advice Philly fans is give up!!! It ain't going to happen. Take it from a proud Buffalo Bills fan. Some things just ain't going to happen in your life time.

Best and Worst Movies!!

So my girl Nikki asked me tonight what was my favorite all time movie and it gave me my idea for my next Blog Entry. My Top Ten list of the Best and Worst movies ever made. Hope you enjoy.

Best Movies

10. Love and Basketball: The best basketball movie ever made. The ending brings a tear to the eye every time.

9. Half Baked: Dave Chappelle and Weed what more can you ask for in a movie?

8. Godfather: Makes you just love being an Italian!!

7. Scarface: The reason AL is god!!!

6. Apolocylpse Now: Great scene in any movie is Bobby Devaul crouching on a beach saying "I love the smell of napalm in morning it smells like victory"

5. Boondock Saints: This movie will change your life!!! All Saints Day better be made!!

4. Cruel Intentions: SARAH M. GELLAR!!! CAN I HIT THAT?!!!

3. Star Wars Trilogy: Three of the most amazing movies ever!! 30yrs later and you still aren't sick of them!!

2. Friday: Chris Tucker is the man!!! Before he decided to become serious all the time Chris Tucker was the best!!! SMOKEY!!!

And the #1 Best Movie of All Time

1. Usual Suspects: KEYSER SOZE!!! Movie straight kicks ass!!! LOVE KEVIN SPACEY!!!

Honorable Mention: Animal House, Ray, Breakfest Club, How High, Patton, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, and Saving Private Ryan.

Worst Movies

10. Passion of the Christ: THERE IS NO FUCKING GOD!!! WHO CARES ABOUT SOME GUY GETTING STAPLED TO A CROSS?

9. Thin Red Line: Does anyone know what this one is about? Anyone?

8. ELF: PIECE OF SHIT!!! Seriously I thought it was supposed to be a comedy!!

7. Dude Where's My Car: Dude I can't believe I paid to see this movie!! I can't believe they made this shit!!

6. Signs: There is 2 hours of my life I'm never ever getting back!!

5. Black Knight: Thank god for Martin and Bad Boys because Martin Lawerence's Career would be over if not!!

4. Crossroads: You see what a lot of liquor and the promise of seeing Britany in underwear gets you!!! Even that couldn't save this movie!!

3. Carwash: Thank god Dr. Dre can make beats and Snoop can rap because this piece of shit is terrible!!!

2. ANYTHING J-LO: There are so many bad films that she has made I had to just group them together. Will someone please for the love of god tell me why she is famous?

AND THE #1 WORST FILM EVER

1. LORD OF THE RINGS TRILOGY: A NEVERENDING GAY PORNO!!! THE MAIN REASON PEOPLE ARE VIRGINS UNTIL COLLEGE!!! GET LIVES PEOPLE THIS SHIT IS SUCKS!!!! SORRY BRYAN!!

Letter to the President

Dear Mr. Bush,

How do you sleep at night? I understand that being President has to be a really tough job in which you have to make all kind of rough decisions but are any of those decisions lying to the people of America?
The other day you called off the search for Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq. The result of this wonderful search? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!! I remember shortly after 9-11 you and people of your administration stood in front of the cameras and told the American people that Iraq was a threat. That Iraq had STOCKPILES of these WMDs. You convinced the people of America that going to war against Iraq was the right thing to do. Now you have nothing to show for it except over 1000 flag draped coffins, a war that is far from over, and a country in Iraq that is no better off than it was before. Oh yea you got Saddam and killed his two sons but hate to break this to you Bush, Israel would have done it for 5 bucks and a pack of stamps. Hell we could have sent a couple of Navy Seals in and maybe Delta Force and been in and out before dinner.
WMDs wasn't what this whole war was about was it George? What this whole war comes down to is that you finished something that your father couldn't years back. You couldn't wait to sit on that Aircraft Carrier and proclaim victory. You were so excited about it you jackass that you did it before the fucking war is over. You sent young men and women across the world to fight against what you told them was a threat to their homes and the people you love. YOU LIED TO THEM MR. PRESIDENT!!!
That's not even the best part is it? While you were busy mopping up for your daddy you have yet to bring to justice the man that was REALLY behind the attacks of 9-11. Bin Laden has been allowed to get away because you failed to do the one thing you promised the AMERICAN people and that's to BRING TO JUSTICE those responsible. Do you remember saying that sir? Do you remember sitting at a fucking school and saying that? Do you remember sitting on the ashes of the Trade Towers and promising those fire fighters that you wouldn't let those RESPONSIBLE get away? LOL
You talk about terrorism and threats. You sit and tell people that Iraq was the problem. In the mean time countries like Iran and North Korea are allowed to build up their nuclear arsenal. You used terror Mr. President to convince the American people that Saddam would come to their house and hurt them. You used 9-11 as an example!! What is even worst is that the majority of people in this country fell for it!! I was never worried about an Iraq tank driving down my street. I never once thought about Saddam trying to take over America. What did Saddam ever really accomplish? He took over Kuwait. He took over a country the size of Rhode Island? Shit Mr. President give me like 8 of my friends and some M4s and I could take over Rhode Island!!
A couple of years ago Bill Clinton was almost impeached for lying about getting a fucking blow job!! He was almost stripped of the presidency for lying about a BJ? Why aren't you being impeached for lying sir? Why aren't you being impeached for lying to the America people. Don't you think costing young American Soldiers their lives is just as bad as fucking lying about a BJ? Oh wait it's not. I forgot who runs this country. The religious right. To them BJs are more important than Soldiers. To them you have done nothing wrong!!
Mr. President I hope you can sleep at night knowing what you have done. I'm sure at the rate you are going eventually you'll invade the right country and find those WMDs you have been looking for hell maybe BIN LADEN too. Try North Korea or Iran or maybe even China. The only question is Mr. President How many more men and women will have to die because of your lies? Will it be my brother or any of the countless friends and family I have in the service? Only time will tell.

Thanks for your time Sir.
Sincerely,
Jay

Random Thoughts!

After writing about the stupid Tsunami for the past couple of entries I figured I would take a break and write about something new. Since I couldn't come up with any one thing that would be worth writing about I figured I would just write about some random shit.

1. Paris Hilton to tape an episode of Simple Life at Cleary Middle School in Buena, NJ: This had to be my highlight of the past couple of weeks. I found it funny that she has decided to come to Jerz and more importantly my former Middle School. I mean I can't really blame her. Buena is probably the only place in the country the girls are sluttier than she is. According to the paper some parents are against it and complaining to the Board of Ed. Speaking as someone that went through the school I think the kids are already a little fucked up I don't think having Paris around can hurt at all. Hell maybe me and some of the boyz can take her to the Frosted Mug!! GOOD TIMES IN THE JERZ!!

2. Ashlee Simpson gets booed at Orange Bowl: Apparently this girl has failed to realize that she isn't hot and she has basically no talent!! If you can't get cheers from 70,000 drunken college kids than you probably just find a new job. The only reason people even bother talking to this girl is they hope to find a way to bang her sister!! YOU CAN'T BE UGLY AND HAVE NO TALENT!! SHIT DON'T WORK!!

3. Neither one of the Olsen twins was killed in the Tsunami: Do we really need two? I mean seriously? One will do. If there was god which obviously there isn't he would have sent the Tsunami to get rid of one of them.

4. Mike Eliason NEEDS SEX: My boy Mike is growing insane from his lack of sex with women. For months his insanity has been growing but it was until the other day when he made two completely out of control comments that Mike has lost his mind. Maybe I'm wrong you be the judge. Comment 1: "The US gave money to the Tsunami victims only because it had to keep the world happy by LICKING THEIR CLIT" Comment 2: " We should start taking our troops out of the Middle East and just start nuking the countries until they are glass"

5. A Night With K-Scap: 2:30 am driving to Buena to pick her up. Her walking out of her house with a case of beer in her hand. Getting in my truck and us driving around South Jersey. Asking Cops if they would like some beer. Than stealing things from people's yards and putting them in my truck. Than at the end of the night telling me that I can have all the things she stole. It's so good to have her back!!!

6. Bush calls off the search for WMD's after finding NOTHING: Well it's good that we invaded a country for the right reasons!! Good news though: Bush hasn't called off the search for Bin Laden. He still looking for him all over IRAQ!!!

7. The world isn't what you see on the movies: A TSUNAMI isn't a wave the size of the Statue of Liberty. It doesn't move at the speed of a jet plane!! I love that people see things on the movies and they are like OMG that must be real!!! What world do you people live in? Cause if it's the same one I live in my only hope is the a Tsunami hits your country!! Oh and to the Britsh people who keep posting Are you guys serious? You worship a Queen!! You eat fish and chips!! You fucking watch Soccer!! If wasn't for us in WW2 you would be speaking fucking German!! You are an Island!! Want to know why we are allies all the time? It's because we fucking kicked your asses TWICE!!! You don't want to step up and get knocked out three times!!!

8. A COUPLE OF PEOPLE DIE WHEN A TSUNAMI HITS INDONEISA!!! So what people died. GET OVER IT!! SHIT HAPPENS!! Good thing the Bush decided to send those people help!! If I was president I would have sent them a bunch of sponges to soak up the water. OF COURSE SOME SWIMMIES!!! Than told them "Don't call us we'll call you"



Before I bounce I would just like to say something about all the responses I have gotten about my Tsunami entries. You people needs lives. I started this page because my friends thought it would be funny to see what I think on certain issues. I think it's funny that you fucking idiots get so upset about what I say and how I feel. You people judge like you know me. Like we are friends or you have seen me on street and talked to me but you don't fucking know me and that makes your opinions of me worthless. Until you have walked a minute in my shoes don't for one second pretend you know anything about me.
The Tsunami hitting Indonesia was really terrible thing but you know what SHIT HAPPENS!!! I'm not going to shed tear or donate money everytime a couple of people die somewhere on this planet.
"Remember you people from other countries only exist because we allow it." "You need us more than we need you!"

Donation

Ladies and Gentlemen I would like to say I'm sorry for my previous blog entries. After reading all your responses I saw the errors in my way and I realized that I was being nothing more than heartless.
That being sad I have decided to open up my heart and make a donation to the victims of the Tsunami. I'm donating snorkels and swimmies that way this will never happen again!! I would just like to say I'm sorry again to all those people that my previous blog entries might have hurt!!

LOL!! Are you fucking serious? Did you think I would care about your responses? To tell you all the truth, me and my friends just sat here and laughed at you people. I think it's pretty funny that you care so much about some stupid people in INDONESIA but when it comes to our soldiers in Iraq it's like they don't matter. To all you fucking foreigners that responded you don't even have say!! How dare you tell me anything!! If it wasn't for America you would even exist!! How many times has America saved someone else's ass!! WORLD WAR 2...Ring a bell to anyone? If you aren't from this country don't even bother opening your mouth about my beliefs. To those that are from this country that responded yea I'm heartless but you know what I donated after 9-11. I have a lot boys that are fire fighters. I also have a lot of friends in family that are in the military and I give time and money to them too. As for the Hurricanes in Florida? I worked for an Ice Company this summer who donated ice to the people of Florida. Don't fucking question me you fucking idiots!! Get off your fucking asses and do something!! Stop wasting your time with other fucking countries and start worrying about AMERICA!!!
Before America starts handing out money to some jackasses that couldn't swim or run how about we hand some money out to the people IN AMERICA that need it!!!

One last thing and this is for all you people responding from other countries: AMERICA IS THE WORLD!!! PLAIN AND SIMPLE!! YOU PEOPLE EXIST CAUSE AMERICA ALLOWS IT!!! YOU NEED US MORE THAN WE NEED YOU!!!

Tsunami 2

Apparently people want to bash me for some of the things I said in my last entry. I could do the easy thing and say I'm sorry but seriously it would be a fucking lie!!! The truth is that I meant every single word I said in my entry!!
Instead of bashing me though maybe you idiots should come back from whatever world you fucking idiots are living on cause it's not REALITY!!! Even after a couple of days I still don't care about any single one of the over 150,000 that died!! They should have ran when the ocean disappeared!! THAT SHIT STILL AIN' T NORMAL!! The still should have put some swimmies on and maybe took a swim lesson!! I think it's a waste of good money to send $350 Million to Indonesia!! The reason I think these things is because I'm one of the few Americans that give a shit about AMERICA!!! Before you people cry a fucking tear or send a fucking dollar to INDONESIA how about you care about your own country!! Care about the little boy or girl that was innocently shot down in any city tonight!! Or care about the little boy or girl that is poor or homeless. Care about the young men and women soldiers that are dying in Iraq over a pointless war!!! Care about AMERICA before anyone else!!
This summer hurricanes pounded Florida and in the process leaving many people with out homes and Florida in ruin. When this happened did any of these countries send money? Did anyone send food or help build shelters? More importantly do you think any one in INDONESIA shed a tear for those people? How about instead of sending them $350 Million dollars how about we give it to those people IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA that could use.
You people want to feel bad for the little boy or girl that might have lost their mom or dad or you want to feel bad for the mom or dad that might have lost their child? FUCK YOU!! Feel bad for the mom or dad who child was innocently killed IN AMERICA!! Or feel bad for the little boy or girl who's dad or mom is coming home in a flag drapped coffin!! Feel bad for the little boy or girl that is sleeping in the streets tonight or feel bad for the family that has nothing to eat tonight!! Don't fucking bash me cause I don't give two flying fucks about some people in INDONESIA!! The truth I live in the real world!! The truth is in the real world the people of INDONESIA wouldn't care about me!!

How about we start taking care of us before we help anyone else!!

BASH ME ALL YOU WANT!! ATLEAST I SEE THE WORLD FOR WHAT IT IS!! COLD AND HEARTLESS!!

Tsunami?

So apparently a Tsunami hit somewhere in Asia. I'm not really sure where it hit because to be honest I just don't care!! I think it's funny that everyone is now rushing out and sending money to these people. If this shit happened here would any of these other fucking countries come to our aid? HELL NO!! Most of these countries would probably laugh at us!! So why should I care about these people?
To tell you the truth I think these stupid people got what they deserved. Apparently for 30-45 minutes the ocean disappeared and no one thought it was strange!! People on the beach stood there and looked at all the fish that could be seen!! If I'm on a beach somewhere and the Ocean disappears my fat ass is running!! Are you fucking serious? That shit ain't normal!! RUN PEOPLE RUN!!! In 30-45 minutes I could get from my house to outside Philly!! I could get from my house to past Cherry Hill!! The other problem I have with this whole thing is that from every picture I have seen on the news the places that got hit didn't look all that nice. They sure as hell didn't look clean so you know what they got a free wash out of it! Don't bitch!!
If anything this Tsunami proved there are too many people out there that can't swim!! WHO CAN'T SWIM!!! It's 2005 now people put on some swimmies and learn to swim!! If not come on learn to float!!

Send them money if you want!!

The Ocean disappears and you don't run?!! RUN PEOPLE RUN!!!
Look at it this way atleast no hot girls died!!